Survivor is back! Some scene stealing castaways dominate the spotlight in an entertaining first episode. Let’s dive in!
Buffoon Boys on the Idol Prowl Steal the Show
Like all season premieres, the episode gave us a small glimpse into the new tribes and a quick highlight for every new castaway. But it was the idol searches by two of our boys that really took up most of the episode 1 screentime. The magnitude of DGAF energy exuding from the actions of Rome and Gabe gave this first episode the shot of chaos it needed.
Rome literally did not care that his whole tribe knew he was idol searching. Every Survivor castaway knows the cardinal sin in the first few days of the game is running off on your own, because it makes people think you are looking for advantages (regardless of if you really are or not) and it makes it really easy for the rest of your tribe to agree to vote you out first. It didn’t sway Rome as he woke up in the middle of the night to dig up the idol box and stuck half his body in the well for a key as his whole tribe looked around for him. He seems to be dead set on burning bright and gaming at 110% intensity, but obviously it has put him in a clear hole with his tribemates.
Gabe also aggressively searched for the idol and ran through the various clues and tasks set out for him, albeit in a bumbling manner. Gabe loudly dropping his idol box was the funniest part of the episode and immediately locks this man into goof territory. To his benefit, Gabe has one ally in Sue that was willing to help him and has secured himself a three-tribal idol that gives him some security for the first half of the game, unlike Rome who ran around like a chicken with his head cut off without even opening one of the boxes yet.
Quick sidenote: I like the slight twist on the locked box idol this season, where with each clue you solve you have to decide whether to take a temporary idol or risk being voteless for a longer-lasting advantage. The comedy of opening a locked box to reveal a smaller locked box will never get old for me.
With all these idol hijinks, Andy’s breakdown, and the new “earn your materials” challenge, there really wasn’t much time for anyone else to stand out. There were some smaller winners from episode one: Sue was a very popular ally early despite being the oldest, T.K. won his duel against Aysha and comes off as irrationally confident, and Teeny navigated day one well using chill vibes… unlike another super-superfan…
Hurricane Andy: Probably Should Have Stayed on the Couch
At this point I think Survivor must be casting certain people with at least some expectation that they could have a day one meltdown, given this is the third straight season we’ve had a castaway completely fumble their way through the first three days. Survivor 47’s trainwreck is giving less Jelinsky, and more Hannah and Brandon from Survivor 45. Hence a whole section focused on the armchair psychoanalysis of a pitiful start to a game of Survivor from someone who really wants to win.
Right from the start, when Andy’s first confessionals of the season were about being a “super magnet” for people back home (his words) and then majorly overhyping the first challenge, you could tell there were a lot of untamed emotions wanting to bubble out of this guy. From his preseason interview, he expressed that he was another level of super-superfan who put a ton of preparation into doing well on the show, and now he is living his dream. He starts fine by building alliances with Jon and Rachel and for the most part has come off fine socially, as Rachel defined him as eager, but a little dumb.
But a sleepless night overtakes him, and his response is to wake up and loudly grab Rachel for some midnight therapy and maybe a little strategy talk. Rachel already told Andy that she didn’t want any conversations that made them look like a pair, and I’d also assume she didn’t want the burden of having to comfort a 31-year-old man like he was a child going to mommy after a bad dream. After this, Andy gets super insecure about how people think of him, making the assumption that because people didn’t cheer for him for slicing open a coconut like they do for Jon (totally hilarious and also immensely pitiful) that it means they all want to vote him out. After losing the challenge in which he breaks away from the rest of the tribe for some unclear medical emergency, Jeff Probst sits in the moment and asks for an explanation from Andy on what he’s feeling. This leads to a complete meltdown, a la Liz minus the screaming and the Applebee's, where he says melodramatic things like how he can SEE IT IN THEIR EYES that THEY HATE HIM, and then follows it up with a tangent about how he was going to throw Jon under the bus and try to get him voted out but now he can’t do that anymore because obviously he is screwed and no one wants him around. The Gata tribe just has to stand there and eat it, while the other tribes get their popcorn out and laugh at how Andy makes an absolute fool of himself.
I imagine that Andy had a clear vision of how he expected Survivor to go for him. Maybe he thought he would get on the beach day one and he would use his charm and honeyed words to make an alliance with everyone, and he would sit at the top of the hierarchy. It didn’t go that way: instead, people seemed generally lukewarm to him and these strategy talks he envisioned didn’t really take place. Therefore, because it’s clear that these high school insecurities that Andy loves to bring up aren’t actually healed, Andy got in his head and bulldozed a path to being viewed as a wildcard, a liability, and a pawn for the rest of his stay in Fiji. While Andy survived being the first boot, it’s going to be hard for people to take him seriously from now on. There’s a lot of damage control to do, but anyone can be redeemed if they just keep on outlasting.
Lovett or Leave It
Andy is an easy first vote if he was, say, a 41-year-old dweeby looking guy. But Andy has muscles, and there was a different tribemate who was 41 and looked kind of dweeby. Enter Jon Lovett, a speechwriter/podcaster/D-level celebrity who just needed to lay low for an afternoon.
Andy’s meltdown certainly put Jon in a difficult position. At this point Andy was Jon’s only real ally who, unprompted, threw him under the bus at the challenge. Instead of establishing that divide as irreparable and submitting to being the decoy for a plan to boot Andy, Jon’s own anxieties led him to try to take matters into his own hands. Jon reestablished his alliance with Andy and then tried to recruit Sam for a blindside against Anika. Showing an ounce of defiance did Jon in, as Sam had zero interest in voting out Anika and the remaining tribemates got together to conclude that Andy’s physical strength outweighed his emotional weakness and offered more than what Jon brought to the tribe. Hence Jon Lovett gets to be the butt of the joke on his podcast for how he was the first boot of his Survivor season.
The reality of it all may have been that Jon was always going to be the first boot, just based on being a lot older than his tribemates while bringing little to the table in physical challenges. But I think Andy was really the first option for a vote out given the erratic behavior he showed. Jon just needed to stay low and not rock the boat, but by trying to orchestrate his own move he made himself out to be a possible threat, and it made keeping a fragile but malleable Andy around a better option.
Jeff Probst called Jon Lovett one of the best storytellers ever on Survivor in a preseason interview. I think it will be a bit sad that we will miss out on a healthy serving of witty Jon confessionals, because he did come off as quite charming and eloquent in his only episode. Jon really needed his tribe to win early challenges for him to find good alliances and get a foothold in the game, but that did not happen.
**********************************************
Lamest New Twist: The Savvy/Sweat Overhaul
Watching someone play a lame scavenger hunt is not good television. What if we brought back a twist from the past where you could either choose to get supplies for your tribe, or pick up an advantage for yourself? Isn’t that weighty decision much more interesting than what we got?
Also, did you notice that there was no journey in our season premiere? Should we expect them in the future, or do you think it got axed or replaced?
Best Jeff Probst Metaphor: Comparing the Opening Muddy Net Obstacle to a Birthing Canal
It’s a new tradition that Survivor’s opening challenge involves diving in and crawling through mud, which is a fun way to initiate the new cast into the game of Survivor. But Jeff, it is a bit too on the nose to observe these people squeezing themselves out of a muddy tunnel and immediately going to the birthing metaphor.
Least Reliable Mode of Transportation: Rowboat
Comedy abounded in our immunity challenge where two tribes completely sunk their rowboat while trying to get the chest onboard. Add in Andy’s meltdown in the end, and you get one of the best opening immunity challenges in a minute.
MVP of the Episode: Sue
It’s really easy to scapegoat older castaways and make them the first vote (see Jon Lovett). Sue’s latent magnetic energy was a highlight for the opening episode, and her tribemates agreed. I hope this is the start of a long run in the game for her.
Goat of the Episode: Andy
For obvious reasons. He acted like a boy and was a complete mess. Honestly embarrassing behavior.
*******************************************
PLAYER TIER LIST:
OUT OF THE GAME
18. Jon
BOTTOM OF THE TOTEM POLE
17. Andy
16. Rome
IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE POSITION
15. Gabe
14. Genevieve
Her only screen time in the episode included saying that she wanted to align with Rome. That’s a doomed alliance, and the vibe I’m getting is that she’s fifth in the pecking order in the tribe of six.
IN A GOOD SPOT FOR NOW
13. Anika
Everyone on her tribe called her the leader, because she couldn’t help herself and started ordering people around. After Andy, would Anika be next?
12. Rachel
I think Rachel could have handled Andy better. I think the neediness Andy showed could have been properly explained to the rest of her tribemates and clarified as an alliance she is not locked into. Instead she contributed to pushing Andy off the deep end. Makes me think she may not be a savvy player.
11. Sol
10. Aysha
9. Kishan
Still a lot to be learned about the dynamics of the Lavo tribe. These three castaways seem safe for now
8. Sierra
She seems safest among the girls in the majority, and so far there is nothing to hold against her except some mentions of her “close” alliance with Sam.
7. T.K.
6. Tiyana
5. Kyle
4. Caroline
Still a lot to learn about the dynamics of the Tuku tribe. T.K. is ranked lowest because his overconfidence is a red flag and he is set up to be pitted against Gabe based on the whole key fiasco. Caroline is the highest because her new alliance with Sue was highlighted, and I’m high on Sue.
3. Teeny
Teeny navigated the social game well on Lavo and seems to be right in the heart of the alliances in that tribe.
IN THE DRIVER’S SEAT
2. Sam
He succeeded in earning himself the “glue guy” role in Gata. With how erratic Andy is, Sam can stay around as the reliable physical strength of the tribe.
1. Sue
***************************************************
We get three straight months of Survivor, how exciting! Will Rome, Gabe, or Andy find a new way to piss off their whole tribe? Find out next week!